Scenic Sandy Balls

A new book lists England’s top 100 most dirty sounding towns, villages, and streets. Thankfully it gives pictures and the story behind the names. Here are my Top 10 favorites:

94 - St. Mellons
92 - Booty Lane
66 - Old Sodom Lane
40 - Hill o'Many Stanes
33 - Titty Ho
25 - Wetwang
20 - Spanker Lane
6 - Muff
5 - Sandy Balls (Why this isn’t #1 I’ll never know)
4 - Twatt

View the entire list here.

102nd & Ewing Ave.

I saw on the news that the guy that holed-up in a house in Villa Park, causing the police to close every road within 100 miles, was from "102nd & Ewing" in Chicago. I grew up on the 102nd block of Ewing Ave!
http://www.nbc5.com/news/4901907/detail.html

House Hunting Again

I went out looking at houses again. This time there were eight of them on the list. Two of them stood out this time, the rest were either just average or not what I’m looking for.

Now I have it narrowed down between two. One in Warrenville and one in Woodridge. I saw another one in Warrenville, in the same division that I liked, but when I compared the two in Warrenville I liked the one I saw last week more. Then the last house I looked at was in Woodridge, on a cul-de-sac. I didn’t think that much of it at first. The more I thought about it the more I liked it.

The one in Warrenville is newer, bigger, and cheaper, but it is in Warrenville! The one in Woodridge is close to 75th and I-355 so I’m leaning towards it. It not much older or smaller, but I think the layout might work more for what I want. Plus, it isn’t out in Warrenville!

More People That Suck

People that drive really big SUVs, and when turning left, when I am trying to turn right, keep pulling up until I can’t see if anyone is coming.

People that throw their money into the basket on the tollbooth, then wait for the light to turn green, even if there is no gate. Are you really that desperate for reassurance in your life?

A Day In The Life...

Them: How do you think we should do this?

Me: I think we should (my solution)

Them: What I was thinking was (their solution)

Me: That would work, but here are (10 reasons why my solution is simpler and better)

Them: I’m going to do it my way. Thanks.

Me (thinking): Ok, then why the hell did you ask me my opinion in the first place?

Synthesizer Pioneer Moog dies at 71

Robert Moog invented many early synthesizers and was a pioneer of electronic music.

I happen to own a MultiMoog. I got it about 15 years ago from a guy at an electronics flea-market my dad was at. I remember because he had forgotten some of the stuff he intended to sell and I had to drive it out to him, getting very lost along the way.

The guy in the booth next to him had the Moog and sold it to me for $100. A lot of money for me at the time but as it turns out a good investment!

I always pronounced Moog as in “Food”, but I was told it was actually pronounced with an “oh” sound. This was from a guy who worked at Coolsavings.com, where Matt Moog, Robert’s son, is now the CEO. (I could be wrong about all that, but that’s what I was told).

Here are some pictures of my Moog. It has the serial #1096, making it the 96th one made, since I read that Multi Moog serials started at 1000.





Synthesizer Pioneer Moog dies at 71

Party Animal

It is usually weird hanging out with people from work, when not at work, but I went to a party a coworker was having a party and it wasn’t much different than at work. I think this is because we don’t usually talk or act appropriately for the work environment!

I am such a lightweight now. I had two, somewhat strong, Rum & Cokes and had a buzz from it. I used to go out with my friends Jodi and Alex every Tuesday (Alternative night at Cassidy’s), Thursday (Jam night at J.J. Kelleys), Friday, Saturday, and most Sundays (The Thirsty Whale) to go out drinking. I would probably drop dead if I tried to drink half as much as we did then. Getting old kinda sucks, but it saves money on alcohol.

Thanks to Jimmy I enjoyed a fine Cuban cigar, and I finally met my friend Keith’s wife after knowing him for 3 years or so! I pretty much hung out with the guys I knew from work there, but it was fun.

The people having the party have an African Grey parrot. I was so close to buying one a couple years ago! I’m jealous! He didn’t talk to me but did make some chirping noises. I was told he will mimic everything from cell phones to the blip-blip from the TiVo!

I’m such a doofus, on the way there I completely forgot to take the exit I was supposed to, and on the way home I ended up taking a wrong turn and driving for about 10 minutes before I realized it. I need one of those dashboard compasses. Man, I really am getting old.

Black Metal Separated at Birth

These dudes are *SO* metal it hurts. Actually it was the side-splitting laughter these pics produced that caused the pain.

Behold, the Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics. And if that isn't enough for you, here are the Other Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics.

Seperated at birth?
Abbath of Immortal and GI Joe Master of Disguise, Zartan:

Be Vewwy Vewwy Quiet... I'm Hunting Houses

I met with my realtor today to go look at some houses. There were six houses on the list, in Wheaton, Warrenville, Lisle, and Woodridge. One was sold yesterday so I didn’t really look at that one.

The first one was a dinky little house right on Roosevelt Rd, but the second one I looked at was pretty nice and I’m interested in it. I looked at one that had a great floor plan, and was in a good area, but it needed a lot of work. I don’t want to have to spend that much time working on my house. It’s where I want to relax! The rest were ok, but not quite what I’m looking for.

I’ll get more listings as they come onto the market, and I upped my price range a bit to find more, hopefully something nice in Naperville that I can afford! I’m just hoping I can find something fairly soon. I want to be moved before it starts getting too cold or snowy. I become a hermit during winter after all.

I Got An A On My Stress Test

I had my stress test today. I think I did well because I studied all week at work for it. If anything it just proved that I am horrifically out of shape.

Before I had about a dozen electrodes stuck to me, the Echo Technician (Is that a cool title or what!?) ran a razor and the equivalent of a sanding pad over the spots where they would go.

The first part of this test is an ultrasound of your heart at rest. I watched my own heart beating, very creepy. To me, it looked like it worked fine, Lub-dub… lub-dub… and so on. I’ll have the full news on the 31st when I got back to the doctor to go over the results of my cholesterol test and the stress test.

After the ultrasound is was onto the treadmill. It only took about 8 minutes for my pulse to reach 180, and then it was a quick jump back to the ultrasound to see my heart in action again. I sat there panting and wheezing for a while they basically told me I was fat and out of shape. Thanks!

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be, after all, I did live through it. It isn’t something I would do on Saturday afternoon if I was bored though.

FACES Job Satisfaction Scale

In the 1980’s, Donna Wong Connie Morain Baker were working in the burn center at Hillcrest Medical Center, Tulsa, OK, where they developed the FACES Pain Rating Scale. This was helpful in cases when the patients were children. They were easily able to relate the level of pain they felt.

In 2005, working on his own, frustrated software developer, Me, expanding on this idea to provide the same easy to use scale for all employees.

You may find this chart helpful when talking to managers, recruiters, mental health-care professionals, friends, coworkers, or random strangers.

Town Hall Meeting Day

One great thing about where I work is the occasional Town Hall meeting. That is when the executive management talks about recent healthcare & patient safety legislation, press coverage, and other really important stuff that affects the level of quality of healthcare throughout the country.

That isn’t the good part. The best part is the question and answer session that comes at the end. About half the questions deal with actual policy and the business, the other half, well they basically fall into 3 categories: the cafeteria, the parking garage, and the bathrooms.

I wasn’t here at the time, but someone once asked why there weren’t more noodles in the chicken noodle soup served at the cafeteria. I did once hear though that the reason they don’t have toilet seat covers is because there is an air freshener. Apparently, these two items are mutually exclusive.

Some highlights today included such pressing issues of how to get coffee in the afternoon once the cafeteria has closed, and of course, how can one keep track of the time spent by those pesky smokers and their filthy habit.

I didn’t realize that in today’s society Flip-Flops caused such controversy. First a women’s lacrosse tam at the white house, and now here. Apparently, flip-flops are not acceptable, even on casual Fridays (which you all already know how I feel about.) According to the insurance companies loss specialist, flip-flops, and sandals as well, are a safety issue, as well as a fashion faux pas.

I also learned the difference between cropped pants, and Capri pants is the amount of leg that shows. Ankles = cropped, whereas calf = Capri. Both are considered casual. I couldn’t help but wonder if pant leg length has any effect on the danger levels of sandals.

Also, and I am so incredibly ticked that I missed this one, I found out that whey they went from business formal to business casual, there was a fashion show of what is appropriate business casual attire. Holy crap. A fashion show!

The good news of the day is that four new shelves will be added to the refrigerator, and new chairs for many employees have been ordered.

Since the company is over 60% female employees, and therefore there are always women in varying stages of pregnancy, a question was asked about “pregnant parking only”. IT was good idea that would be taken to, and I am quoting here, the “Parking Committee”.

I'll tell you what I would ask is I were an actual employee here: Why are there 4 "Full Size Van Only" parking spaces on each floor, when there are *never* full size vans parked in them? They're always empty. I drive a ’97 Lumina, not a small car, yet I’m always dwarfed and squished between two gigantic SUVs. Let them park in these spots so that I can actually get in and out my car without having to hold my breath!

I don’t know when the next Town Hall meeting is but sure it will be just as entertaining.

"Double" Confirmation Dialog Design Pattern

Sometimes when building a software application you may need to verify a user’s action. This is usually done with a confirmation dialog box or “pop up” that says “Are you sure you wish to…”



There have been many articles written about why these should not be used. Some of the issues are that users are so used to seeing these they don’t actually read any warnings, or that sometimes a user can inadvertently confirm the action simply by typing.

A better idea, one recommended by UI guru Alan Cooper , is to provide an Undo capability. A good example of this is Google’s Gmail. When creating a reply, if you chose to discard the reply the page then shows a message saying “Your message has been discarded” with an option to “Undo discard”.

A time that you might need to use a confirmation is when an Undo option isn’t practical. For example, I a project I once worked on moved data from a temporary database to a different location. (The reason was that the data contained confidential information that needed to be removed before storing into the permanent database.) The user would remove the confidential information, and then choose to “publish” the data, which removed the temporary data.

Originally another developer had employed not one, but two confirmation dialogs because the “users wanted to have the system double check”. Well I firmly believe that two wrongs don’t make a right, so I suggested an alternate design pattern.

My alternative is based on the “terms of service” dialog that many websites use. It is a confirmation dialog that requires you to check a box to confirm your actions, than click OK. You still need to click two items to confirm (the checkbox, then the OK button) but this way you only use one actual dialog. Also, your users are less likely to scream “Yes dammit! I am sure I want to do this already!” to their monitors.

NetFlix

I finally broke down and signed up for NetFlix. I usually don’t have time to watch a lot of movies. In fact my DVD collection is only about a dozen DVDs. I usually watch movies when they’re on HBO or Showtime, or if it is something I really want to see I’ll order it on pay-per-view (I have DirecTV).

I like watching movies, but I am so sick of 90% of the crap that Hollywood puts out. It is boring, and to me, very predictable. A real plot twist would be a movie where the person you think is the bad guy actually turns out to be the bad guy!

The thing that sold me on NetFlix is the number of music DVDs they have. I put about 50 in my queue within the first day. This is great because these are things that I’d like to see, but wouldn’t really want to spend the money on (since I’d probably only watch it once or twice), and most video stores wouldn’t carry them anyway.

I went with the 3 movies for $18/month. Four PPV movies would be $16, so as log as I watch 5 or more I can justify it! Hopefully if someone asks me if I’ve seen a movie I’ll remember to add it to my queue.

A Very Good Experience

I went over to Good Sam hospital to get blood drawn for a cholesterol test.

I like the fact that in life, if you’re paying attention, there are always reminders of the fact that you don’t have it as bad as it seems like. For example, as I’m in the waiting room, thinking “Arg, this is gonna take all day” I hear on the intercom system “CODE BLUE. CODE BLUE. 4205 Bed 1….” Ok. Thanks! I get your point. I’ll just shut up now.

Another good example was when I had broken my little pinky toe and I was waiting for x-rays while they wheeled in a guy who was slumped over in pain, and sobbing. My little black & bruised toe didn’t seem as important anymore.

Anyway, as I’m sitting waiting for the nurse to come get my blood I see a sign on the wall that says:

Are you having a very good experience?

A “Very good experience”? Um… no, not really, can’t say as I am. I’m sitting here waiting for someone to poke a needle in my arm and take out some of the very stuff that makes me live.

The nurse came in and was very nice. I barely even felt the needle. In fact I thought it was just a test-poking until I saw the blood pouring into the blood collector thingy. (That’s the medical term for it).

I don’t freak at the site of blood, but I don’t really like watching it flow out of my arm. I would have to say that at that point I still was not having a very good experience. It was all done pretty quickly and I got a band-aid, but no lollipop.

I’ll know the results on Friday when I go in for the stress test. Hmmm… me on a treadmill. Doesn’t sound like a very good experience.

Chicago City Limits

I went to check out the local band Ten With Strangers at Chicago City Limits in Schaumburg last night. I found about them through myspace. I wanted to see them play because they were looking for a guitar player. I talked to one of the guitar players after the show, but it looks like they may still have their other guitarist after all. Guess I’ll have to keep looking.

Chicago City Limits is a cool club. I hate places that are too smoky but either they have good airflow or there weren’t a lot of smokers. The price of Rum & Cokes varied between $3 and $4 (averaging $3.50) each time I ordered one. I didn’t realize the price of rum fluctuated that much.

At one point I see the sound guy walking to the stage carrying a hockey stick. I’m thinking maybe he didn’t like the band, but he ended up “adjusting” the power supply to some of the stage lights.

It has been ages since I went to a club to see a band. From now on I think I’ll try to do it at least once or twice a month.

Fire Drill!

Me at work: La la laaaa… listening to music on my headphones… BWWWOOONNKK!!!! BWOOONNKK!!!

There was a fire drill today. Everyone piles out of the building and crosses the street to, in the event of an actual fire, watch the building burn. I made sure to grab my car keys and phone just in case it wasn’t a drill, but I left my Diet Dr Pepper behind to fend for itself.

Now on each floor they have fire marshals that get nifty blinking armbands and flashlights. Unfortunately, as a consultant I can’t be trusted with this type of responsibility. This is probably good though, because as a consultant I would first need to have a meeting, and do some research into the most efficient way to exit a burning a building. I should have a proposal for you in a week or so.

I once knew a guy, a real object-oriented evangelist, who had hung up a sign on his cube that said “Manipulate Every Object” (meaning don’t create anything that isn’t useful). I told him as a consultant I had a similar motto: “Bill Every Hour”.

While I’m on the subject, here is my favorite consultant joke:

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey.

The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.

"The one on the left costs $500," says the store owner.

"Why so much?" asks the customer.

"Because it can program in C," answers the store owner.

The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told, "That one costs $1500. It knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology."

The startled man then asks about the third monkey.

"That one costs $3000," answers the store owner.

"3000 dollars!!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"

To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."

The Mysterious Third Crunch

The cafeteria in the building I work at has what they call a “Triple Crunch Wrap”. It is pieces of breaded chicken, lettuce, cheese, and honey dijon (or ranch or ceaser) wrapped in a jalapeno tortilla. It isn’t spicy, but the combination is just delicious. I can see the chicken and lettuce being two of the crunches, but the third crunch remains a mystery.

In fact, the year I wasn’t working here I would come back for lunch with my friends when it was on the menu! Well today my friends Cesar and Thomas came from their other jobs to have lunch.

It was just like old times again. I even learned more than I’d ever want to know about the mating habits of alpacas. I miss those guys, but Cesar took a great job, which I’m jealous of, and Thomas went back to his previous job for a big raise, so I’m happy for both of them.

Philadelphia Eagles Get Burnt. Ha ha!

Excuse me Philadelphia Eagles fans, but in the immortal words of Nelson Munce, “Ha ha!”

I considered myself an Eagles fan until last season. I like McNabb, he’s a class act, and I respect Reid’s straightforward, tough coaching style, but how on Earth was I supposed to root for a team with Terrell Owens? Despite his obvious talent, Owens is just spoiled, greedy and selfish.

Now Owens has left camp after refusing to take part in a fan autograph session. The guy makes $7,000,000 a season and he can’t take an hour to sign a few balls for the fans?

Philly though, like many teams, were willing to play with fire by signing Owens, who had worn out his welcome in San Francisco, and now they’re getting burned! The sad part is that there are countless other teams that would still trip over themselves to sign this guy.

Why do receivers like Owens, Randy Moss, Chad Johnson, or Keyshawn Johnson think the game revolves around them? Last time I watched football the QB was the one throwing them the ball. Where is Ronnie Lott when you need him?

If I were Lurie & Reid, I would tell him that he can be on the team, and be happy and productive. Both of those are up to him. He can realize he is making $7,000,000 a season, is on a team with a good chance of making it back to the Superbowl, and has plenty of money to feed his family.

If he can’t be happy then he should be on the team and just be productive. He put his name on the dotted line last season, now he has to live with it.

If he can’t do either of those, then he should sit out, and get paid nothing.

espn.com: Terrell Owens leaves camp after getting yelled at and crying like a little bitch.

No Pug For You!

My neighbor told me about an ad in the paper for someone selling some pug puppies. In case you didn’t know, I have wanted a pug since I was in high school. I was dating this girl named Amy, who my friend called “Pug”. He said she looked like a pug with a little turned up nose. Well after I looked up what one looked like I wanted one. You have to respect anything that can go through life with a face like that!

The only other dog I’ve wanted longer is an Irish Wolfhound. I’ve wanted one of them since the first grade! I remember seeing a picture in a book of a wolfhound on its hind legs, with its front legs on a man’s shoulders (like they were dancing). I don’t plan on dancing with one, but they are great dogs too!

The pug pups are about $700, which is more than I can spend on a dog right now! Also I don’t know how I would be able to train it since I’m working all day. Maybe I could put a vest on it and claim it is a service dog, there to help me with my chronic boredom.

I need to keep saving for the house though. I need a new computer, a new laptop, another Gibson Les Paul or two, and a Pug, plus I am helping my sister pay some bills thanks to her ass-hat deadbeat ex-husband. (That is a whole other story!)

I think for now I’ll have to stick to my stuffed Pug, but one of these days I’ll have one for real!

Return of the Red Strat

My old “Red Strat” is officially back in the rotation. I put this guitar together originally in Jan. 1988, as a sophomore in high school.

Originally it was a standard Strat style guitar. Over the years I reconfigured the electronics several times, installed a Floyd Rose, added a bridge humbucker, reshaped the neck, and scalloped the fretboard from the 15th fret up.

Before:

After:

I returned it to more of a standard Strat configuration, with a set of Seymour Duncan Vintage Staggered SLL-1 single coil pickups. All the wiring and electronics are new as well.

Before:

After:

I cleaned up a lot of the routing, which I’m thinking I originally did with a chainsaw. I added a white pearloid pickguard, and pearl-capped chrome knobs for the volume and tone controls. I gave the body a good buff & polish which took away most scratches and brightened it up a bit.

Before:	After:

I also reshaped the back of the neck to a more rounded profile and sanded out a few dents.

Before:

After:

It feels good to have this old friend (my oldest friend in fact) back in action again. This guitar and I have been through a lot together! I was a bit surprised how easily all the new parts came together, and how little setup time I needed. The only problem I had was I had to reshape part of the pickguard and drill new holes to align the pickups correctly.

Scuse Me, While I Kiss this Guy

A new book about Jimi Hendrix makes the claim that Jimi lied about being homosexual to get out of the army. The story about him breaking an ankle is apparently false. None of his military records contain the injury.

Now TheSmokingGun.com as released some interesting bits of his official army record. According to his records, he was a lousy shot, couldn’t make it to bed on time, required constant supervision, and was once caught in the latrine while working on his earliest documented use of the “Whammy Bar”.

Pvt. Hendrix plays a musical instrument during his off-duty hours, or so he says. This is one of his faults, because his mind apparently cannot function while performing his duties and thinking about his guitar.

The Smoking Gun Article

New Band Name: Elgin Monkey Hunt

Several reports of a 4' tall monkey have been reported to police in Elgin, IL. A reporter asked a police official:

Have you given any thought to the possibility that this may just be a really short, hairy guy?

Of course, the police have responded by saying they believe the monkey may be an escaped pet, as opposed to the indigenous, wild monkeys that plague Illinois.

Elgin Monkey Hunt

By Order of the President, W.E.B. Griffin

Every now and then I like to read a good military-based thriller. Usually they are so heavy on military terms and equipment that it reads more like an encyclopedia than a novel. Is either that or they have “experimental” gadgets for any situation that work like magic.

I just finished By Order of the President, by W.E.B. Griffin. It had a solid story, with an interesting plot, and didn’t go overboard on the military terms. I liked the characters, but there were so many key players it became hard to keep track of who was who.

My only real annoyance was that the main character, Charley Castillo, who is half German and was raised by his father’s Tex-Mex family, was accompanied by his cousin Fernando, who called him by his nickname “gringo” nearly every time he said something to him.

This is the first book by Griffin I’ve read. If you like Tom Clancyor Dale Brownor even Vince Flynn
you would like this book.